I love my kids, but sheeeeez, my fashion sense has taken a nose dive since having them, although I guess that’s what seven years spent in elasticated waists and maternity bras does to you. But, being back at work (I may be at home, but I AM AT WORK *she shouts loudly downstairs*) I can no longer live vicariously through Natasha’s kick-ass dress sense, I have to find my own. So, with bump gone, two in school, one in nursery and one too small-to-object, I have devised five ways to regain my sense of style and no small person with chocolate-y hands is going to stop me….
- Fancy Flats
However much you try, you’ll never out-run a six-year old boy in heels. I’ve tried. But, flats? Now you’re talking. If you ever, err, just want to lose your children for a second or two and LOOK like a super-stylish singleton just strolling nonchalantly through the park *no kids here folks!* rather than their own personal bodyguard/chauffer/pa escorting them from cafe to football and back again, then flats are your answer. Of course, flats per se aren’t stylish or an indicator of child-free status, what you need are a pair of Fancy Flats that are so darn sparkly/crazy/gorgeous that all attention is diverted to them even when aforementioned children are around. These Chloe Susanna boots are THE DREAM but out of my price point as are the Valentino rockstuds. However, these leopard print flats and metallic flats are pretty gorgeous, as are these glittery Cirque Gaucho boots from Russell & Bromley (still on the expensive side, but JUST LOOK AT THEM!) As for these Sophia Webster flats, I don’t think words are needed are they? And, of course, if we’re, ahem, running with this theme – these Adidas superstars would do the trick.
2. A small cross-body bag
You know all that ‘stuff’ that kids want you to carry for them? The lego, the muslins, the Octonauts… (I could go on, but I’d cry), with a small bag, you simply can’t! I’m sorry, you say smiling down beatifically at your pride and joys, I would love to carry all your possessions, but there’s just no room and then before the crying starts BRIBE them with babyccinos, croissants and cake achieving another cunning benefit by meaning you HAVE to go to a cafe so you can deliver promised goods and grab yourself a coffee in the process. A Win Win situation. This new Cloud bag from the Cambridge Satchel co could do the trick or this leopard-print number or these lovely Liberty print bags, which come in a rainbow of colours or if you feel that you deserve a Very Big Reward, then this hot pink Hill & Friends bag, which is basically worth selling your husband for (also available in leopard print, although I think I’ve probably mentioned enough leopard print already…).
3. A HUGE tote
Of course, you could go the other way and invest in a MASSIVE BAG to chuck all their plastic tat/snacks/clothes in. You may struggle like a pack horse, but at least you also have somewhere to put aforementioned small child if you need to hide them away quickly in event of emergency. This should do the trick or perhaps this Madame Pompon bag (below) – the leather is super-soft and there’s lots of room to store small offspring. And, I’ve always admired a Vanessa Bruno bag…
4. A long dress
This came to me when I saw Natasha on Saturday wearing this be-au-tiful Isabel Marant Etoile dress. Aha! I thought. Not only is that a lovely dress, but if it were just a little bit longer it would also make an excellent tent in which to hide a child (do you notice a theme here?) Should you ever find yourself in a chic non-child-friendly place, desperately in need of a coffee/cake/outfit, then simply pop aforementioned child under your skirt and voila – NO ONE WILL KNOW. You may have to muffle the noise (a magazine always works) and shuffle slowly, but it is a small price to pay, I think we can all agree on that. This is rather lovely as is this (which I mentioned before, but it is gorgeous) and this could also do the trick (with the added bonus that you’ll look like Stevie Nicks). Thinking about it, a long coat would also work. Will research them and get back to you….
5. Leave them at home. At all times. Always.
This works too.
Top image: Vogue Russia