Life

How would you feel if your husband was really good friends with another woman?

…And I mean really good friends. The kind of friends who enjoy drinks after work, chat on the phone at least once a week, go for walks together in the park? Would it make you feel uneasy? Jealous? I suspect it might. Although, perhaps it depends on how long they’ve known each other. Whether she’s attached. Whether she has kids…

Thankfully (I think) my husband doesn’t have a female friend like that (at least, not that I know of!) He has women who are friends, but no-one who he enjoys drinks with after work, chats with on the phone at least once a week or goes on regular walks with in the park – that would be me. And, I guess that’s the crux. The woman, the person he should be doing all those things with is his wife or girlfriend, so if he is doing it with someone else, then perhaps there’s a problem.

In our twenties, male/female friendships were so easy. I had a lot of male friends, ones I’d go out for evenings with, ones who’d crash on my sofa, ones I’d go on holiday with. But now, in my thirties, all of my male friends are either gay, equally good friends with my husband or living in another country. The people I hang out with most (when not with my husband) are universally women. I started my social life in a single-sex school and now find myself back again in an almost all-female environment which is populated by lots of men, they just happen to be married or under the age of five. I don’t think this is by any means wrong (perhaps a little dull, but not wrong) and perhaps in time, when I’m out of the fog of early motherhood, this will change.

But, back to the original question. How would I feel if my husband was really good friends with a woman? Well, I love that he is friends with my friends and that I am friends with his female friends. And, I love it when he says he’s going to the park with Laura or Charlotte, or has just spoken to Dorcas or Marg on the phone, but maybe that’s because I would always be welcome to walk and talk too. And, he’s known them for years. I don’t think I’d be so comfortable with a new female friend, especially one who wanted to see a lot of him and not so much of me. But, then that’s pretty obvious isn’t it? Or maybe I’m wrong? What do you think? Would you mind if your husband was really good friends with another woman?

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