Have you made any resolutions for 2015? I was thinking about this the other evening whilst feeding my little boy. Babies are tough, right? He’s been pretty easy thus far, but we’ve hit some challenges in the last couple of weeks (anyone who can solve the sudden early waking issue wins a prize/my eternal devotion) and I find myself getting incredibly frustrated and stressed; I feel I should be able to control everything so he runs ‘to schedule’. Hello? Of course I can’t control it. Any more than I can make the sun rise or the moon eclipse. Babies will be babies. Everything’s a phase. ‘Natasha’, I said to myself, as he nuzzled into my arm, ‘you are simply going to have channel Elsa and Let It Go’.
(Incidentally, am I the only person who is unable to hear ‘Let it Go’ or – even worse – ‘Do You Want to Build a Snowman’ – without welling up? My daughter likes to sing them in her sweet little voice and I have to turn and furiously busy myself with something mundane like the washing-up.)
Back to my resolutions. I warn you, I sound a bit like I want to be a zen master, but actually it’s more about being a better mama and calmer person.
Let it Go
Accept what I cannot control, try to ride with it rather than attempting to control every single thing. This goes hand in hand with resolution no. 2…
Deep breaths. Keep cool. Don’t boil over. Patience is not my leading virtue – I know that; I just need to find a better to handle the impatience. Not doing brilliantly on this front thus far when it comes to the pre-school-run-rush, if I’m brutally honest. Morning, as my husband would say (gently and kindly, because that’s what he’s like) is not when I am at my best. Tomorrow is another day, as Scarlett O’Hara would say.
And slow down
Because I always move at million miles an hour and it’s simply unnecessary most of the time. What am I rushing for? On Monday my little girl and I just pottered: we went at her pace to the park (twice). Stopped for a mini hot chocolate because she pointed to the cafe and said, “It would be nice to go there, wouldn’t it? I’ve got an idea – why don’t we have a coffee?” I let her meander over the bridge to the playground – usually I would be urging her along, thinking we had to be home for the baby’s feed, but I stopped myself and let her set the pace. And we had such a lovely time and were both so happy.
Part of slowing down. Enjoy where I am at that moment. Put down my phone/ipad. Do not check emails – instead play shop or read Maisy for the hundredth time with my girl; let my boy stand on his wobbly legs (current favourite thing). Just have a coffee and look around (or read a book). Do not think about what’s next/later today/tomorrow/next week. When it comes to my children, I find this poem a salutary reminder that nothing – good or bad – is forever. (Warning: do not read this on public transport. I can’t even make it halfway through without dissolving.)
Because I have so much. And it’s easy to forget the big picture when the small one is challenging.
Advice on achieving the above welcome! And we’d love to know about your resolutions.
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